What's So Funny About Unemployment?

A funny little unemployment blog for your (un) enjoyment

Return of The Staff

with one comment

As I was researching Michigan’s latest unemployment statistics (now at 13.1 percent) and applying for jobs the other day, I heard the WSFAU HQ door quietly open.

Feet — attached to suitcase-carrying bodies– began to tiptoe in.

The Staff was back.

Resisting my urge to scream “Where the bleep were you?” at them, I allowed them to unpack. Then I called a staff meeting.

“Staffers, I have some important things to say to you,” I began as we gathered around the staff conference table. “First of all, where were you?”

“Niagara Falls,” they responded in unison.

Slowly I turned, looking them over as I controlled my urge to give them a good slap upside the head. “Niagara Falls?!? That explains your ‘water, water everywhere’ message. So why there? It’s not like you all went on your honeymoon … is it?”

“No,” they said. “We’re still single.”

Taking turns, they further replied: “We just wanted to go to Canada and New York. And look at one of the natural wonders of the world. And, boss, you wouldn’t believe just how many tacky tourist traps there are along the street to the falls on the Canadian side. That’s a wonder in itself.”

“Oh, I’ll bet.” I paused to begin the Powerpoint presentation I’d carefully developed since their departure. “Now, please pay careful attention to this projection of our quarterly budget.” The Staff began to yawn and groan. “I know finance is not your favorite subject, but this is very important to WSFAU’s future!”

The slide projected on the WSFAU laptop screen for them to see:

Expenses: We Have Them

Income: We Need It

“Congratulations, Staff,” I sarcastically told them. “Your sojourn has thrown a monkey wrench into our budget projections! Now we have more expenses and we need more income!”

“We ate as inexpensively as we could.” “We took digital photos instead of buying souvenirs.” “We shared a room.” “We even stayed out of those tacky tourist traps!”

“I’m glad to hear you watched your pennies. But the next time you take a vacation, you should take it from a paying job! And let people know when and where you’re going BEFORE you take off! That will be all.” I rose to end the meeting.

“Don’t you want to see our pictures and hear about our trip?”

So I sat back down, looked over their photos and heard their trip stories. Soon, I relaxed. I laughed at their travel stories. I marveled at the wonders of the photos of the falls.

It was like I’d been there myself.

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Written by Joanne

August 19, 2010 at 11:07 pm

One Response

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  1. As you know, I lived in Florida — the birthplace of the tacky tourist trap — for about five years.

    The Canadian side of Niagra Falls makes Florida look like the very model of propriety. Sheesh!

    Vid Doucette

    August 20, 2010 at 9:16 pm


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